Cannot hold onto anything. I remind myself of that, and I feel a familiar sense of stability. The more I live, the more I feel like I have a grasp on my reality. But ironically the grasp that I'm talking about is the acceptance that there can never be any grasp :P
I used to pretend like I was living in the moment. That was the entire concept of the pause button. But now I'm living life in tiny episodes. And the length of these episodes has not been defined by me. I cannot move the cursor to the bottom of the screen to see the time line. I realise that I was doing it wrong earlier.. it was about the point and just the point. When all the while it should have been about the movement - even when things felt stationery.