Sunday, December 21, 2014

Deviance

Does everything have to really be about movies and books and names of things? I mean, is that the only way we can interact and learn about each other - through their interests, that we are constatnly judging them by? It's like a standard has been set, and we base everything about them on the basis of that. I mean, I do it too, but in a different way. I don't expect everyone to have been a die hard Enid Blyton fan growing up, but if I find someone who is then that's a very pleasant surprise for me. I don't go about looking for it - except in fun - nor would I like someone lesser if they'd had and still have a completely different 'cultural' viewpoint from mine.
Maybe, then, this name business is just the beginning. Maybe it shows that the person is interested in you, and maybe its a good thing.
I should stop blaming my memory for not being able to explain who I am, more so I should stop thinking that people are expecting to know me through my memory. Just like it is for me, for everyone too it's not just what you say its a lot about what's around what you're saying, that matters.

Why does being smart have to do with how much information you can hold in your head? You can feel things or have opinions without having to store all the information too, you can still be smart even if you don't remember what you had for lunch last weekend or what the name of your favourite movie is!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

P-remise

I think its the idea of rejection that is my biggest weakness. Maybe cause I've experienced it so intensely first handedly, or maybe I experienced it so intensely because that was the premise in my head, and the reason why things didn't 'work out', or go the way I wanted them to.

Which is why when I'ma in any situation even remotely similar, or any kind of situation that can make me feel upset, the premise resurfaces, and I feel the same feeling in different intensities.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Politicising my present


I think "ideal reality" is a paradox. What is the literary term for two sets of words that are paradoxes, when used together, i Forget. So much that does not stay, in the memory. It always boils down to feelings, and feelings chart our experience and our memories.


How, then, are we supposed to study this? And make it meaningful at the same time? I'm having the usual exTISSential crisis, I suppose. But I think its coming at the right time. I needed this politicisation of my thoughts. But I must remember to not give up on all the subjectivity and personal that is mine.