Thursday, March 22, 2012
A simple statement which reflects my mood for the day: Somehow when I am sad, I find it very difficult to be happy.
There was a time in my life when the faint of a smile would bring great fear with it… I didn’t want to be too happy because I theoretically knew that an upward graph can only go one way once it reached its peak. But then a wonderful something happened to me. You can call it love (for life or for a person, I’d rather not say); immense faith, fortune or even misfortune. It all depends on how you look at it. Whether you look at it as a graph that curved its way upwards and resulted in a slant downwards, or as a curve that reached a high point no other curve had been or even dreamt of. “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” If you want to be cynical you can find a way to be so in the wealthiest and the prettiest of situations. And I am no cynic. A well-graded psychology report too told me very recently that I am highly unrealistic and optimistic. Quite a deadly combination, don’t you think. So I can live on in my world of denial for almost forever as I see the picture so much clearer and more beautiful than it actually is and while I am living on in that frame of mind in a strange sort of unreal denial, I will unrealistically not see where I am headed. I will bask in the glory of my unrealistic dreams and optimistically tread my way through the thorny bushes (which might even prick me, but I won’t feel the pain because in my head there ARE no thorns) and I will feel the pain only later when a lot has happened and I have been brought back into my size five shoes which have been lying peacefully on the ground the entire time.